A Guide To Acing Parties
It’s that time of the year again.
As a 21 year old guy, I have attended my fair share of parties — be it the Family Diwali Parties, or the Saturday Night “F*ck it up(s)” and I have seen enough people struggling to keep up with everything that is going on around them that I decided to write a small guide that might help them. So, this post is meant for people that usually have a hard time at social gatherings.
In simple terms, people that either:
- get anxious at the thought of seeing people they don’t know or haven’t met in a long time, or,
- can’t start a conversation with someone unless they’re both really close, or,
- avoid the spotlight whenever they can — They hate telling stories because all eyes are then on them.
This is not an exhaustive list, of course, but I hope you get the idea of what kind of person I’m describing here. You definitely know someone that fits this criteria, in which case I expect you to help “that” friend of yours by sharing this on your social feed and hope they see this. You can also bring this up next time you meet with your friends — just don’t share this post specifically with him/her because that way you’re putting them a spot and they hate that.
Important Note: Some people choose to keep to themselves at social gatherings. They might look like they are having a hard time keeping up but honestly, they are just enjoying the party as much as others. The point is, don’t force other people to like/do the things you think are cool and more importantly, DO NOT LABEL
This is not going to be easy for you, especially if you’re really reserved but trust me if you just follow the few pointers I have written, you’ll be able to do very well socially — this will help your professional as well as personal life. At the end of the day, it all comes down to the choices you make and I hope you make the right one. Understood? Now let’s get you ready to shine at the next party.
The Golden Rule: Show up late, but prepared.
I know that’s kind of a douche move but trust me it is vital in your progress. Showing up just a tiny bit late helps build up the anticipation of your arrival. When you do arrive though, get into the whole party spirit by following the below mentioned rules.
Greet first, and greet everyone.
If you’re just the right amount of late i.e. if your friends haven’t left for the dance floor yet, one of the two things will occur: Your friends will either get up to greet you or they’ll remain seated and expect you to greet them. No matter what happens, greet them first. Shake their hands, hug it out, and always ask them how they are. I don’t care if you met just that morning, you either ask about how they are doing, when (or how) did they reach or anything that will get a response.
Do this enough times and they will always stand up whenever you come and they’ll always start reciprocating your actions.
Talk to anyone, and everyone.
This is by far the hardest of the rules but it’s the most effective in any type of social gathering. Introduce yourself to everyone that has anything to do with your group. Test them as a group and then approach the extrovert one of the group. Compliment them and see their reaction, disagree with them and see their behavior. If you think they are okay, then try finding a common ground. Make a new friend whenever you attend a new party.
Understand that you are a good person who’s just trying to make friends. If you have trouble keeping conversations going, don’t worry. You should become a better listener before becoming a better speaker. Mostly people are looking to someone they can talk freely to. Show interest in what they have to say, ask genuine questions in-between the conversation and be prepared to really get to know a person.
Fake it till you make it.
I had a teenage crush on this teacher who’d always ask students to speak in front of the class and I always went ahead and spoke on whatever the topic was just to impress her. I was shit scared most of the time and constantly thinking about how to put my words in such a way that will put a good impression on her but I never let it show on my face. Looking back, I love that at least I had the guts to walk up there and take a chance. The speeches I gave in those days laid the foundation of who I am today — a person who’s always up for a talk, a person who’s always the first one on the dance floor and a person who’s satisfied with himself. Seriously, I love myself for this.
Lastly, do not be afraid to take a chance and enjoy whatever you do.
